Face your fear, and do it anyway

April 24th 2017 will be a date I will refer to for the rest of my life no doubt. Did I get married? Have a baby? Win the lottery? Nope, I started my first day as a freelancer.

I can’t stress upon you enough how much of a big deal this is for me, I have wanted to do this for quite some time and it’s finally more of the right moment than any other moment so far.

What stopped me before was fear, an all encompassing emotion and it had a choke hold on me, I was petrified. The time I first seriously thought about it I had undergone major life changes, a seven year relationship gone, a move from Cardiff back to Neath and my confidence had disappeared.

I considered changing careers entirely and grabbed brochures for University courses with gusto, convinced I needed a radical change. Considering the huge changes I had already undergone, I was glad I didn’t plunge in to something I would regret… go me!

Somewhere in me was this desire to work for myself, explore all options and give myself a chance to use my skills and experience differently. I started writing content for a website and then a job popped up, too good to not apply for, also a convenient ‘get out’ clause for my fear. I went for it and got it. Case closed.

I say case closed but this desire in my gut didn’t go anywhere, it flickered and sparked. Around me I had friends who were freelance and saw their struggles but also their happiness and freedom to explore new projects, relationships and use their time as they wanted to. I was very jealous but pesky fear stopped me.

A really good friend bought me a book ‘Face your fear, and do it anyway’ and I haven’t opened it, I’m sorry Nia, but I was paralysed by fear and thought freelancing was beyond me. She has remained one of my biggest supporters and inspirations, diolch cariad.

The last few years this desire has become stronger and when I took on a maternity cover contract for a job that I knew would elevate my skills and experience, I already had one eye on becoming a freelancer. So I worked really hard, pushed myself and I’m so proud of what I achieved. The finality of the contract was the catalyst I needed to do this.

Some of my closest friends have started their own creative co-working space called ‘The Sustainable Studio’ and I have been on their journey with them so far, but never had the chance to properly work with them and now I do, a couple days of week and I’m ecstatic. Thank you Julia and Sarah, you’re amazing.

So here I am, finalising content for my website with George the cat leaning on me, in a house that I share with a man who is the best person I have ever met. He loves me just as I am, encourages and supports me and I couldn’t be happier, still fearful but with the passion and determination to succeed.

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