I can’t believe I’ve just written that, it’s been six months.
The decision I made to go it alone was not a light one, I deliberated, agonised and catastrophised but given my unhappiness, feeling of being trapped and desire to be more creative, it was worth a go.
Luckily, I can say it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Here are some things I’ve felt and encountered along the way.
There have been times when I have felt like a stranger in my own body, like I’m not who I say am, unable to do any of the things I say I can and out of my depth. This can be truly terrifying but in a strange way it almost keeps you grounded.
Thank you to lovely family and friends who continue to support me, give me the kind words I can’t find for myself sometimes and bought me a coffee or lunch – you’re amazing. I wouldn’t be here without you.
The ‘concerned’ look
Some people just won’t get what you do or why you do it and some of the aghast expressions have made me laugh. It’s hard to rise above concern or judgement sometimes but stick in there, you know yourself better than anyone.
Setting my own hours has been joyous and I no longer feel bound by the clock. In the summer during the hottest days I went to the beach in the morning and worked in the evening and it was heaven. Being able to manage your own time is an absolute gift.
It can creep over you when you least expect it, wake you up in the morning and make you hide indoors. I’ve had total fear moments about money, that I will have to eat out of bins and that I’ll fail. Fear can be all encompassing but I’m better at keeping it at bay, sometimes you have to tell it to ‘shove off’.
Nothing you do is wasted
I’ve had many jobs and done lots of volunteering and it has all paid off. I think it makes you a better problem solver, less of a lateral thinker and gives you experience of dealing with all sorts of environments and people.
Taxes are the antichrist, or are they?
I was terrified of receipts, tax returns, invoices and anything to do with money for the first two months and pretended I didn’t have to do it. Luckily, I just decided one day to tackle it and with the help of the brilliant Taxdoctor I am on track, recording my money and being an adult.
I’m meeting lots of new people and I love it, many are now friends and clients and people I can bounce ideas off, it’s awesome. I attend fun openings, launches, parties and events and being the extrovert I am, it suits me well.
“I work 60 hours for myself, so I don’t have to work 37 for someone else”
Amen and thanks to Dan Slee, @comms2point0 for tweeting this.
Awesome illustration by The Meekshall.