Thank you Claire
CommentMy friend Claire O’Shea died on Monday May 12, 2025 from stage four cancer, I can’t tell the story better than this can so please do read it, she was remarkable.
I write this not as someone who knew Claire the most but as a chance to process her death and celebrate her and our friendship.
I discovered Claire in 2019 thanks to Twitter, she was someone who I shared mutual friends with and I liked her tweets a lot. She was intelligent, witty and enjoyed a beige buffet and I greatly admired her hair, it was curly, grand and fabulous.
I began to court her friendship online and enjoyed a mild tweet flirtation with her. Shortly after that dalliance I realised we would be working alongside each other in the global solidarity sector, in the same building. What a thrill to meet my online friend irl, I remember her being friendly and welcoming and it was this proximity that would propel our friendship forward.
It was when I would walk past her office that we really got to know each other. I would stop in and see what Claire was up to on my way home and she had a propensity for telling me exactly what was on her mind and so I quickly learned a lot about her. I enjoyed listening to whatever was on offer and I think she appreciated that about me.
I quickly realised that her self deprecating wit and dark humour were similar to my own and in many ways I felt seen and understood. We also shared an ability to hold a grudge and be acid tongued when we felt injustice was served. To stand in front of someone, flaws and all and feel quite comfortable is no small feat, I loved Claire because she was perfectly imperfect – like me.
I appreciated Claire’s candor and loyalty and I loved that she was on my side when I felt wronged but was also likely to ask me confronting questions. No topic was off limits for our conversations and I was glad to shed the shame of chatting (literal) shit, mental health and death amongst other things.
Claire’s work desk will stick in my mind for a long time, it had a signed picture of Desmond Tutu on the wall, very cute stationary and folders, plants and an obnoxious middle class recipe for banana and tahini on toast that I ripped into her about. It got slightly chaotic at times with a cute and semi organised vibe – which I think could sum her up.
Claire and I shared similar interests and books, food, travel, festivals and music were something else we bonded over. I have no doubt that if covid and her illness had not intervened we would have done more of these things together. You always think you have more time, and if anything, Claire’s experience has taught me that time is beyond a precious commodity.
We were still working alongside each other when Claire was wrongly diagnosed with IBS and chasing a better investigation into her health. I was incredulous that she, with self assurance, intelligence and determination, was being treated so unfairly and poorly. When she received the correct diagnosis of cancer and the extent of what was happening in her body was revealed I was completely shocked. No way could my friend, similar in age and with bags of life ahead of her be in this position. That injustice will stay with me forever.
Towards the end of Claire’s life I became more cautious around her, afraid to say or do the wrong thing and I regret that. I just knew that she was very strong, but very tired and needed to expend her energy on feeling as ok as possible. I still can’t quite get over the strength and determination she had in campaigning for women’s health when she was unwell, on top of her job and being a functioning human.
Claire was worried about her legacy and she needn’t because what she has done through Claire’s Campaign and by just being herself will be remembered forever.
I will miss you so much Claire and I promise to try and further some of my ideas we talked about and you’ll be with me, I know it. I look back at our whatsapp chats and twitter conversations and laugh at how silly we could be. I assured you I would cry at your funeral and tears will be shed my Queen, for you, anything.