Making friends in your thirties

Friendship bracelets

Just like dating, making new friendships can feel daunting, scary and impossible. Yet as we change and grow, isn’t it inevitable?

I used to have a Disney like approach to friendship, feeling that it would be forever and there would be adversity but we would overcome it with a strong ballad, hugs and matching tatts. Alas, this is not reality.


It seems the older I get, the less time I have. Responsibilities pull at me from each direction and ultimately you can become quite isolated. Friends will start families, others will devote time to jobs and move away or like me you will get a cat you adore and spend 2hrs out of each day trying to remember log in details.

Just like everything in life, change is inevitable. Around thirty I began a new era of growth in myself, I became more self assured, less tolerant of bull shit and a stringent feminist. I noticed that I attracted and sought after people more like me.

I joined my local library and reignited my love for reading. As I perused the fiction section the escapism, characters, worlds and stories I was craving came back to me, just like it did when I was a little girl.

Cardiff Feminist Book Club

I joined Cardiff Feminist Book Club in 2019 and it has changed my life. With some trepidation I set off to the first meeting. I shouldn’t have worried, the women I met were welcoming, kind, funny and friendly.

The more we met, the more I realised I felt part of something, connected and accepted. The books we read were fascinating, our conversations gave me viewpoints and ideas I just wouldn’t have thought of alone.

When I got asked to join the committee I suddenly felt 11 again, so elated to be ‘picked’. The women in the committee are firm friends, just a WhatsApp away and I admire and cherish them deeply.

Perhaps the best thing about CFBC is how different we all are, yet we’re threaded together because of a love of books, feminism and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Our discussions away from the meetings are my favourite thing, from the ridiculous (often instigated by me) to the serious.

It’s reassuring to know we are not alone and find commonality in so many things, we support each other, no matter what. You can’t buy this type of friendship and support, it’s like gold dust and I’m very grateful for it. It’s like being a penguin in the huddle.

A big realisation for me is that friendships are cyclical and will undergo change frequently and that’s ok. There are people like you out there and you will find them, just like the Spice Girls said “Friendship never ends”.

If you want to join CFBC you’re very welcome, take a look on Twitter and Instagram. Also men are absolutely welcome, we aren’t that type of club.

World Mental Health Day: Suicide and me

Trigger warning: Mentions of suicidal thinking, mental health issues

Life is precious isn’t it?

That’s what we’re told, meant to believe and feel, but what if you don’t?

What if your reality is that you don’t really even feel alive? more like you exist and struggle through each minute of each day.

You feel so worthless, so helpless and so desperate that you don’t want to live. You find no reason to wake up in the morning other than you feel it is a duty to the people around you.

There was a moment in my life where I felt this deeply. I was depressed, in the throws of an eating disorder and in a job that made me very unhappy. I was functioning but didn’t feel alive.

I had a very vivid image of how I would kill myself, it seemed like the only way I could escape pain and unburden myself from everyone.

I thought of it so often it almost became a comfort, the thing I could escape to when all around me reality felt too hard.

Deep shame flooded me when I thought of it sometimes, how people would judge me when ‘life is so precious’. Yet I couldn’t stop that image from appearing, it was my secret.

I sought counselling because I knew I wasn’t well and somehow I managed to tell my counsellor about the images I had in my head, the thoughts that enveloped me all day.

She was very kind, understanding and didn’t judge me. She informed my doctor which was absolutely terrifying as then it was ‘real’ but I’m glad she did.

She did not tell me life was precious, she listened, encouraged and supported me through the darkest time in my life. I began to separate myself from the overwhelming thoughts and images. I got slowly well again.

It would be a lie to say that I never feel suicidal, life is complicated and messy but feels worth it.

I am lucky to have love all around me, I feel it acutely, it wraps itself around me and I feel alive.

Today is Mental Health Day. I’m sharing my story because it may help. Don’t suffer in silence. There is light to be found on the darkest of days, I promise.

Recently I read Matt Haig’s book ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ and I’ve never seen suicide or mental health written about in such an honest, helpful and non judgemental way.

Contact Samaritans free and mental health resources.

Do we have to go back to normal?

My tin foil hat photoshoot

This blog was written pre new lockdown measures, please bear with me, but the sentiment is the same.

In the wise words of Zadie Smith when asked about the pandemic, “I don’t think anyone sane wants to go back to normal”

The idea of a  ‘new normal’ makes my soul shiver. I’ve never liked the term ‘normal, it feels so limiting, confining and quite frankly, boring. Yet it’s a term I’m hearing again and again amidst the backdrop of this pandemic. I can understand why, it’s a very confusing and often bleak time for us humans. Normal can be seen as a comfort, normal is safe, secure and not what we’re experiencing right now.

It has felt like we’re under pressure to move on, even though we are very much still in a pandemic. I was very pleased to be told by Kirstie Allsop to ‘get back to work’, daughter of a Baron who clearly understands what it is to be a ‘normal’ person. 

People’s reactions to this pandemic have fascinated me, including my own. It turns out I’m far more risk averse than I thought. I will recklessly cycle through San Francisco at rush hour following a man I don’t know, but I won’t risk mine or others health during a global pandemic.

UK Gov’s fantastic approach

The UK Government, like dear old Kirstie, really wanted us to get back to ‘old normal’, I’m thankful to be a Welsh citizen where health is devolved and we follow a plan for relaxing restrictions that I find more measured and sensible. 

A consumer focused marketing ‘gem’ from the UK Government was the ‘Eat Out to Help Out, (snigger) scheme which offers a 50% reduction on meals for diners for a limited time period. The announcement was accompanied by a crap PR stunt as Chancellor Rishi Sunak was filmed waiting tables ‘at Wagamamas in London looking every inch the idiot.

In being told to ‘spend, spend, spend’ to boost the economy we must face the possibility that we’re risking the health of ourselves and others. This amplified by the overcrowding of bars and people returning from holiday and not bothering to quarantine.

Even though Wales has taken a steadier approach but I still feel anxious, a bit vulnerable and scared of what the future holds. I fear we’re nowhere near over the worst of it, infact local lockdowns are now in place and Cardiff is landlocked by it!

The old normal was rubbish

Don’t @ me, it was and I’m glad it’s over.

I’m not sure how conscious I ever was, we would scurry around, proud to be ‘busy, so busy’, ram down a terrible £3 meal deal, be stuck in traffic, forget to text back, check instagram and see your frenemy has popped to Santorini the weekend, forcing us to wail ‘I WANT TO GO TO SANTORINI’ and immediately book a short break to Santorini and buy an ethically dubious sarong from TopShop, force ourselves out on the weekend (and put it on social media because otherwise it didn’t happen) because heaven forbid we rest, we burn out, then start again.. What’s the definition of insanity?

This pandemic has forced us to slow down and I for one am glad. 

Since lockdown restrictions came into place I’ve heard birds sing loudly and clearly. Their song is like a symphony to freedom. 

I started exercising again, at the start of lockdown slow but methodical runs took me down the middle of roads, I shunned the pavements because there was hardly any traffic. In Cardiff, air pollution dropped by 20% during shutdown.

I became determined to support local, favouring fruit and veg boxes over pre packaged sterile lettuces from chain supermarkets.

I did my best to support friends with their businesses and charities in need of aid. I practically stopped using the car and struck up conversations with friends, old and new. I also donned a tin foil hat and did a ‘fashion’ shoot in the garden but the less said about that the better.

Kindness has bloomed, I’ve seen it all around me, in actions, deeds and words and my heart grows fuller.

I feel the most positive attribute the pandemic has given us is time, which to me is a precious commodity. What a luxury and privilege to be bored, to have ‘nothing’ to do and nowhere to go. What you rue now, you will miss when it’s no longer available to you. 

It has forced us to be present, which I know for many people (my self included) is not a pleasant place to be. We want distractions and breaks from our reality but honestly, sitting with yourself and your feelings is truthful and human.

Time is a gift

Time was one of the biggest factors to me becoming freelance, I longed for freedom and the ability to create a day in my image and not that of someone else. My idea of productivity is not the 9 – 5 and I’m not entirely sure who that timeframe actually serves.

My hope is that businesses and organisations have seen that working remotely and different hours is still productive and useful. A happy and healthy employee is likely to be someone who has some autonomy over their time and can actually achieve a work/life balance.

Ultimately I don’t want to go back to a world where capitalism is king, even the rich have struggled with lockdown, this is the power of what a virus can do – strip you down to your very humanity. You may have a Lamborghini parked in the driveway and 200 acres but you are as vulnerable to a health crisis as most other people. 

The world collectively gasped when Tom Hanks announced he had coronavirus, “Not Woody?!” we exclaimed, but yes, a rich, powerful white man got the virus.

If we were to go back to normal, it would mean we will have learnt nothing from this experience which is quite frankly depressing. Kindness, flexibility and more freedom should surely prevail over a life lived less consciously. 

Let’s start how we began, with the wisdom of Zadie Smith, “I was living thoughtlessly, I want to remain in conciousness“.


My depression and why I sometimes let the tidal wave wash over me

Deep Impact and that damn tidal wave

For #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek I thought I’d write about my own experience of depression and how sometimes I just need to embrace the darkness of it all.

Please don’t think you need to, or that I endorse this as a coping mechanism, it’s just for me and may ring true with some of you.

If you feel like your depression is unmanageable or that you might harm yourself then please do seek help from your GP, counsellor or an organisation like the Samaritans. You’re not a burden, you’re a human that deserves love and kindness.

The way we walk about depression sometimes sucks

There’s a lot of ‘fighting’ language used when it comes to illness, especially chronic, mental and cancer. We’re told to ‘survive’, ‘battle’, ‘fight’, ‘beat’ and ‘kick’ our way to health. This language can you leave you feeling like you aren’t doing enough or aren’t trying enough to be positive in the face of pain. I don’t see illness being as linear as that…

Toxic positivity is something that rears its ugly head around this subject too. Being told to ‘chin up’, ‘it’ll pass’ and ‘dance through the storm to find the rainbow’ leaves me cold. To condense very complex health matters into these meme-able sayings feels inhuman.

Depression = Deep Impact?

When I think of depression I sometimes see it as the huge tidal wave at the end of the film Deep Impact. It’s vast, will engulf you whole and inevitably sweep some loved ones along too.

I stand on the shore and look up at it, it’s ferocious and unwieldy, it scares me and it wants to do so but there are times that I stop trying to hold it back and I just shout ‘COME ON YOU FUCKER’.

When this happens I know to write off the day, I don’t even try and be happy or put on a smile. I just be, in the darkness, under the water, swept along by a CGI wave.

Tidal wave habits:

I listen to music that will perpetuate my mood and bum me out – I’m looking at you James Blake, Lana Del Rey, Mac Miller and FKA Twiggs. I wallow in it. Today, Lady Gaga has released a song that encapsulates my entire tidal wave mood but is A POP BANGER, so I dance instead….

It’s coming down on me
Water like misery
It’s coming down on me
I’m ready, rain on me

I’d rather be dry, but at least I’m alive
Rain on me, rain, rain
Rain on me, rain, rain

I Google pictures of celebrity couples that broke up and left me devastated. Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett and Kerry Katona and Bryan McFadden. How could you ruin love for me? HOW COULD YOU?

I will fester in my own filth. Clothing won’t be changed, hair not brushed, teeth not cleaned and I will enjoy my state of being.

I will have a teaspoon of many, many things in jars… peanut butter, chutney, pickle, jam, honey, treacle, pesto and anything delicious looking.. nothing is safe from me and my spoon.

Bed is my friend and I stay in it, wrap myself up in a duvet and snuggle in, like a bear preparing for a hibernation or when a spider cocoons it’s prey for later. 

I withdraw from friends and family. I don’t like that I do this but I hate feeling like I’m a burden, real or imagined. 

Comparison is the thief of joy, but I like to compare and despair myself to people on instagram which makes me feel super shit!

A Star is Born, Fleabag, The Notebook and Up are just some films and TV that enter my brain, even if I don’t watch them I like to agonise over the sadness, the finality of relationships breaking down and the feeling of emptiness. 

Does the tidal wave end?

Yes, it does, and I think the point I’m trying to make is that we don’t always have to pretend to be happy, coping or ok – we can just be.

One bad day, week or month does not a lifetime make. There is always tomorrow, or a tiny chink of light to be found. If you can’t find it, don’t worry…. no pressure.

Here are some organisations that help me, hope they can help you too.

Blurt, Heads About the Waves, Beat Eating Disorders, Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation

Five fantastic TV series adapted from books

Normal People – it has my heart and soul

Recently my TV time has been dominated by series adapted from books and I’m not complaining about it. Often I get too emotionally involved with fictional characters but wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s not that often that adaptations are considered brilliant but these five, are for me, outstanding.

Normal People based on the novel by Sally Rooney (BBC iPlayer)

The story follows the complex friendship and relationship between two teenagers, Connell and Marianne, who both attend the same school then college.

Without a doubt, this adaptation is as good as the book. Sally Rooney’s novel had me in raptures, I read it in two days and a love for Marianne and Connell was sealed. I was terrified to watch the series but it lived up to its plaudits. The longing, tension, emotion and sadness were captured perfectly by Paul Mescal and Daisy Edgar-Jones. On top of the sharp and evocative dialogue was stunning cinematography. I just wanted to walk into their world and never come back out.

If you like this, watch: Call me by your Name (Netflix), Portrait of a Lady on Fire (MUBI/Amazon Prime).

Unorthodox an adaptation of Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots by Deborah Feldman (Netflix)

Unorthodox is a story about a girl who rejects her radicalized Jewish upbringing and leaves to start a new life.

Only four episodes but perfectly crafted, the attention to detail is exquisite and utterly beautiful. Shiira Haas as Esty is incredible, she captures the fragility and hope of a young woman wanting freedom like no other. The scene in which Esty enters the water is breathtaking, her literal rebirth captured infront of our eyes as her wig floats away. *chefs kiss* I cannot wait to read the novel.

If you liked this, watch: Schtisel (Netflix)

Shrill based on Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman by Lindy West (BBC iPlayer)

A struggling young journalist is determined to change her life without changing her body. While dealing with unreliable boyfriends, sick parents and a perfectionist boss, she begins to understand that she’s just as good as everyone else.

Shrill is boundary breaking and I’m here for it, I want to see beautiful fat bodies on my screen. Women like Annie, who like themselves despite society telling them not to. What’s so good about this is it’s combination of humour, body positivity and realities of being a woman. The fat babe pool party episode is wonderful. Also the costume department smashed it. The book is equally as great and it reminded me that’s it ok to be a loud woman. Amen.

If you liked this, watch: A-typical and Special (Netflix)

The End of the F***ing World based on on the comic book series by Charles Forsman (Netflix)

The series sees two 17-year-old outsiders, James and Alyssa, embark on a road trip to find her estranged father with disastrous consequences.

This series is just stylish as hell, the shots, lighting, locations and costume just add to the extremely sharp and funny dialogue. Jesy Barden delivers deadpan lines as Alyssa that simultaneously make you want to laugh and cringe. Not to mention the brilliant soundtrack that accompanies the story. You just end up rooting for these misfits.

If you liked this, watch: I Am Not Okay With This (Netflix), Scott Pilgrim vs The World (Netflix)

Sharp Objects based on a novel by Gillian Flynn (Amazon Prime)

Camille Preaker returns to her hometown to report on the abduction and murder of two girls. She is reacquainted with her distant mother and her half-sister, and finds she has to confront her own demons.

A total air of creepiness, isolation and desperation fill this series and it got under my skin. The acting is incredible, Amy Adams plays Camille and is totally believable as a damaged, fragile, alcoholic searching for the truth. Gillian Flynn also wrote Gone Girl which strikes a similar tone as a very intense but clever story. Not a comfortable watch but a really good one.

If you like this, watch: Gone Girl (Netflix), True Detective (Now TV)

Happy 3rd year of freelancing to me!

Whoop, the confetti cannon spews glittering shards of shiny paper, there is merriment and a band playing and there are many, many balloons – except the balloons all lose their air and make a raspberry noise like – plerrrrrrhhhggghhhhhh

It sort of feels like that at the moment, I’m not sure it’s ever been a worse time to be freelance? For some and many people I know, it is.

The life of a freelancer can be very uncertain and in these times, uncertainty is the only certainty (does that make sense? I hope so).

What I can tell you is that I still haven’t had to eat out of a bin yet, I mean given the situation if I saw half a still frozen Vienetta on the top of the bin then I would eat it, because I love it and that is not an essential item to just ‘pop out’ for.

Last year I celebrated all that I was grateful for and the for my first year I think I was ecstatic just to have made any sort of money whatsoever and busted some freelance myths.

Three things I have learnt since becoming freelance

  1. You will undervalue yourself, even though you tell others not to – on more than one occasion I have undercharged, or done more than the contract asked for and not said a word – just berated myself after. At Christmas time I met up with a freelancer I really admire who gave it to me straight – I was undercharging and over delivering, it was the boot up the arse I needed.
  2. Learning to say ‘No’ is a tool in self care – this is so important, no-one else is going to do it for us so we must be sure that we can do it. It will feel wrong in your mouth, we like to please people and be favourable, but at what cost? Burn out is not sexy and I have done it more than I like to admit.
  3. Being vulnerable is good – if your mental health isn’t good, if you’re struggling with money or finding more work then please share this with someone. It is not weak to admit you’re finding things tough. I know it’s really hard, but please consider doing it ❤

You’re on a downer dude

Sorry, I am grateful and ok I promise. This year work wise has been incredibly rewarding so far it’s just this is a very odd time and it’s Monday and I don’t like Monday’s.

Interviews, the good, the bad and the time you cracked a joke and they didn’t laugh…

Given that I’ve had more than a few interviews in my lifetime, I’m sharing my tips on how to have a good one, but before that here are some memorable examples from my career so far.

The good

I interviewed for the 2012 Olympics in a massive skyscraper in Canary Wharf and felt I’d gone to heaven. I didn’t get the job, but it was a great interview, I had awesome feedback and was encouraged to apply again.

The interview lasted three hours with three parts; formal interview, writing test and role play scenario, somehow I survived it. I came out triumphant, satisfied with my performance, I didn’t get the job, I came second. Why is this good? Because I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, mentally coped with a three hour process and it came down to a bit of niche experience I didn’t have. I’m still proud of me.

The bad

I realised during the interview I really didn’t want the job and talked myself out of it during being questioned. Awkward.

I was asked what publications I read, I answered, “Heat magazine and Take a Break” and laughed, no one else laughed.

The ugly

The interviewer had some views I didn’t agree with and we sort of argued, I could tell she despised me, and the feeling was mutual… cringe.

I sent my prospective interviewer a text with two kisses on the end my mistake to which he replied “If I wasn’t gay, I’d blush”.

How to have a good interview:


  • If you don’t, you’ll fail.
  • Where and what time is the interview? Don’t be late mun!
  • Look at the organisation as whole – history, values, missions, news, events, staff, projects, services, case studies etc.
  • Always look at their digital media – how and what are they communicating?
  • Low key stalk the staff – LinkedIn isn’t your friend for this but make sure you know a little about the CEO and Senior Management.


Most interviews use behavioural questions, “Name a time when…..”, “Tell us about a time when you used your initiative….” etc and these require you to have interview stories and STAR is a technique of answering them.

These stories should involve real situations that demonstrate you are a capable person for the job and based on the personal profile and job role and responsibilities.

For example:

Essential: Can problem solve

Your story must reflect this, and a likely question is “Tell us about a time when you have had to overcome a problem”

S – situation, setting the scene
T – task, build on the situation – what is the task at hand? Be specific about your involvement.
A – approach – what action did you take?
R – result – what was the outcome?

If you use this method to create stories and practice them, you will face the interview armed with lots of scenarios to talk about in a structured format so you don’t end up waffling.

Wear something that makes you confident

You don’t have to turn up like Ru Paul. Even if it’s just a piece of jewellery, shade of nail varnish or a keepsake in your pocket, do something for you. Always try the outfit on beforehand, I once had to safety pin my trousers because I had lost weight and forgotten to buy a new pair in time.

Be human

Acknowledge everyone sat in front of you, make eye contact, smile, breathe, sip water to take a pause and acknowledge it’s ok to feel nervous.

Ask a question

Always do this, if you can’t think of any beforehand here are some ready-made.

Can you tell me about the culture of the organisation?
What are the biggest challenges the organisation faces?
Why do you enjoy working here?

Have an opinion

It’s always good to have some praise or constructive criticism ready. Think about what you like about the company – is their ethos good? a project you like? a blog post you read and enjoyed? and then think constructively – is there a little suggestion you could make or something that you’ve seen that could be corrected?

I once told a company they had a broken link on a pivotal part of their website and they were grateful. Having an opinion shows you’re engaged.

If you don’t have a good interview?

Fxck it, it’s ok, we can’t always have good ones, learn from the mistakes, ask for feedback, grow and move on.

A letter to my body

This blog contains content that people may find distressing or uncomfortable, please don’t read on if you think it may trigger you. Lots of love xxx


I first started this letter in March when I was having regular counselling and feeling completely overwhelmed with my negative thoughts.

I haven’t looked at it since then but in the last few days I have been absolutely horrible to my body, my mind overrun with insults, abuse and threats, all because I tried on a skirt that felt tighter than it did last year. It seemed as good a time as any to come back to it.

It offers me comfort to write and read it, I hope it can do the same for you.

Dear body,

Whether we like it or not we are stuck with each other so let’s put everything out on the table and try to get a bit of harmony.

I’ve been wanting to say these things for a long time to you, so here we go.

Thank you’s 🙂

Thank you for having rhythm, I love to make you dance. We have delighted people with our ability to find a beat and let loose. The times you’ve won lunging competition on dancefloors have brought me joy.

Thank you for the stretch marks and scars, a reminder that I have grown and changed over the years.

Thank you, big, sexy brain for making me creative and playful. I’m appreciative of my imagination, delight of colour and seeing the world with wonder and opportunity.

Thank you for enabling me to be on the hockey and athletics team in school. Running around that track gave me a great joy and a sense of accomplishment. Even when I entered the hurdles and cross country when I really didn’t want to, you got me through it (and made me sick on the bus home).

Also thanks for healing and repairing me when you’ve needed to. From a blister to a dislocated shoulder, you have worked wonders in getting me back to working order.

I really love my eyelashes, they get lots of compliments and look killer with mascara on – another thing to be thankful for.

Thank you for letting me bend, stretch, walk, run, crawl, jump, swim, cycle, fall over, stand up, sit down, lunge, squat, kick and so much more – things I take for granted on a daily basis.

Thanks for being small, even though you’re like Scrappy Doo and forget you’re only just 5ft, you rather like being small and pocket sized. Being small has led to slipping through the occasional queue, buying children’s clothes and being picked up and hugged a lot.

Sorry 😦

I’m sorry that at times I have decided to starve you or empty my stomach as a need to have control. I abused you and that is not ok. Sorry doesn’t really cut it but it’s all I have. I’m working on it, fighting the urge when it arises to use you as a last resort to gain control. I don’t want to do it anymore.

I’m also sorry for calling you terrible names, poking and prodding at you in disgust. It must make you feel really bad and that I am ungrateful, which I know at times I am.

Sorry for making you feel that how you look is linked to self esteem because it’s not and shouldn’t be, but I feel a victim of my environment and culture sometimes.

Sorry for not seeing you properly in the mirror, the image is distorted with a magnifying glass on the bits I don’t like and me forgetting about all of the amazing things you are and do.

Sometimes I really do hate you when I’m on my period and I curse you for the aches, pains, cramps, bloating and more but really I am lucky to have a period, others would like one and can’t, I must not forget that.

Lastly, sorry for the times I have shunned social plans because I wanted to hide you away, starve you or just felt so disgusted with you that I would rather wallow in misery. I’m really trying to get to a good place that we say ‘yes’ to more things and can relax.

I hope we can be better friends,

Lots of love,

Emina xxx

If you think you are suffering from an eating disorder, please see your GP and have a look at information on Beat’s website. They are a charity, champion, guide and friend to anyone affected, giving individuals experiencing an eating disorder and their loved ones a place where they feel listened to, supported and empowered.

I am always here to talk to, no judgement and any time.



Happy 2nd freelance birthday to me

Goodness me, here I am, a second year of freelance under my belt.

After my first year I was absolutely landed I hadn’t yet had to eat out of a bin and it’s pretty much still the same. The three second rule is now more like three minutes but no bin scavenging.

Things to be grateful for:

I am successful

There are times I don’t feel like it AT ALL, I berate myself for ‘not working hard enough’ or ‘not doing well enough’. It’s rubbish, I’m here, freelance with clients I’ve retained and new ones to boot. I am happy and grateful to be recognised for my work and experience.

My daily rate

Last year I finally started to get my daily rate and that feels like a huge win for me. Money doesn’t necessarily equate happiness or success but I feel valued and respected. Also it feels weird writing about money but we have to, it’s important!


They are a god send, I’ve chosen to not work a 9-5 so that means I dictate my own hours and if I want to nap at 3pm, I bloody will. Also great for if you’re too tight to put the heating on in the day in Winter.

My cat as a PA

Sometimes annoying, but the majority of time calm inducing and super cute. Her hair is all over my laptop but I’m glad for the cwtches, leans and distractions when I need time away from the screen. George, you complete me.

Supportive people

I have people in my life that support me in so many ways and none more so than other freelancers who just get it. When I freak out, need advice or just a friendly ear I have people to draw on. Lucky me


It’s a precious commodity. Sometimes I sit in the library to work, I go to the gym in the day which gives me invigoration and clarity and other times I zoom across Cardiff on Penelope (my bike) for meetings, events and more.


I trust my gut more, am not afraid to say no, argue my corner and value myself. This has come with experience and I still have a long way to go but I’m proud of me.


2018 in review

I promised myself this would be a year of JFDI or Just fucking do it and it didn’t disappoint.

I got married to a wonderful human.


I launched my passion project Wicked Women’s Institute: recorded four podcasts, did an event in Made in Roath and Ty Seren a women’s hostel. A ‘Stitch, tits and clits’ workshop with fab Twin Made, tee printing with Printhaus. I wrote three poems and recorded videos to accompany them.

I got my first tattoo, then got another one.


Became a cyclist.


Worked on my first re-brand project.


Was part of a video with an incredible band for a bloody good song.

Tried professional baking.

bread model

Got rainbow hair.

Booked a trip to Japan for 2019.


Bought a mooncup.


2019, what have you got for me?